Sporadically through his show, Frazer would insert self promos, little tidbits promoting … The Frazer Smith Show. Now everybody does it; you’ve probably want to throw the remote at your TV when the channel tries to get you to watch the show you’re already watching. As usual, though, Frazer’s self promotions took a different approach.
Some of these are from memory, but even if they don’t exactly match what was broadcast, with any luck they’ll be close enough to convey the basic idea.
How would you like …?
How would you like to drink a glass of drain opener? How would you like to become involved in a violent racial conflict? How would you like to have your teeth kicked in by a frozen boot? How would you like to eat a pile of ground glass? How would you like to slide naked down a razor? How would you like to suck on a chainsaw? How would you like to listen to the Frazer Smith Show, weekends, on KROQ?
Yes, the tiny hands of thousands of admirers clutch and tear away your see-through jump suit as you run to the waiting limo. Once inside, your chauffeur whisks you off into the night as you sit back in the luxurious leather seats. Your servant pours you a drink as you try to relax and prepare yourself for perhaps the biggest event of your young life. A giggle escapes your lips as you fantasize … what will it be like? You can’t believe it’s really happening to you. You’re listening to the Frazer Smith Show. It’s time.
Yes, you are flying low over the Hollywood Hills in your sleek quad-engine turbo-jet. There’s a beautiful actress in your lap, your feet are propped up on the control panel, and you’ve forgotten where you are going to land or even where you took off, because you are smoking a Valium Cigarette. But it doesn’t matter, because you’ve got the silencer racks on and you’re flying far faster than the speed of sound so they can’t hear you. But I can. So stay tuned for more of the Frazer Smith Show.
Yes, you are strangling sharks in front of millions of adoring beach-goers when suddenly you hear that Mayor Tom Bradley has been caught in a high wind and now his head is making a sound like a big empty jug when you blow across the top of it. What should you do? Act like nothing’s wrong and listen to the Frazer Smith Show, on KROQ.
Wake up screaming
Wake up screaming: Frazer Smith in the morning, on KROQ.